MY CORONAVIRUS SHOPPING

If you see me, you’ll never guess the depth and breadth of my appetite. And what I consume, I burn doing endless chores. So there is a fast cycle of eating and shopping for food, sped further by having no appetite for starchy foods or sugary drinks--an appetite and a half for fruits and vegetables. These tender produce are extremely good-looking yet lose their looks fast, requiring constant shopping trips. I start shopping for THEM and my eyes get caught by other things that I think I’m running out of, or in need for. In time I end up shopping for the sake of shopping. Things spiral out of control when shopping at wholesales and malls. I could be shopping for pomegranate and end up buying the on-sale shoes!

Life was a series of shopping trips until Coronavirus facts started to tumble over my head. Pretty soon, Dr. Anthony Fauci’s announcements dominated the air, snuffing out contrary claims made by a certain loud mouth. I listened to Fauci’s sincere concerns and followed his fatherly advice. He prescribed ‘HOME” for my age group--the most attractive human beings to Coronavirus. And if you are one of those people who spent their lives in a race to achieve one goal after the other, you feel sort of special even if a virus puts you on top of its list.

I feverishly started to compile an inventory of the contents of my pantry, kitchen cabinets, and the under the stairs storage of paper goods and cleaning supplies. The inventory did not stop at the names of items. It included almost all the information on their labels such as their brand, ingredients, and size. Then I divided the inventory in accordance to two main purchasing sources, a super market chain and a whole sales chain. Now I was ready to select from the inventory the shopping lists to give to the shoppers of these two sources. I placed my orders. No substitutions.

At first, I was elated when piles upon piles of groceries were delivered to my door! No driving! No cruising through endless isles. Three or four item were missing from each delivery, but even I couldn’t always find all what I shopped for. The time I saved by delegating in-person grocery shopping, however, I spent shopping online for clothes and shoes.

Then I started to miss more and more items that were on the lists. So I allowed substitutions. That is when the process went out of control. Rarely were the substitutions to my liking.

And how were my fruits and vegetables? I ask you: how many shoppers have you seen picking up an apple or a pear, then turning it around looking for consistency in the level of ripening and no dents or bruises?

Worst of all is the persistent picture popping into my mind from years past, of that tiger I saw in a zoo pacing his cage like mad, leaving his lunch of fresh meat to a swarming cloud of flies. The aim of us animals is not to get what we need.  The aim is to have the freedom to go get it.

Still taking Dr. Fauci’s advices to heart, I put a mask on my face, wear glasses to cover my eyes, stick a hat on my head, insert my hands in plastic gloves, shove a sanitizer bottle in my pocket, hang shopping bags on my shoulders, and go shopping.